


Say It Again

by SummerChildMadeofStone



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Derek is a dumb boy, Fighting, Kidnapping, M/M, Weed, only a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 21:44:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12969027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerChildMadeofStone/pseuds/SummerChildMadeofStone
Summary: "He was halfway down the coast before he even gave it a second thought. Then for one brief, crazed moment he almost turned around - panicked to his core at the thought of seeing Stiles again - before he realized that seeing Stiles again was only one possible outcome to this scenario and he pressed on the gas even harder."This is a gift foralisvolatpropiis. It was supposed to be a tumblr drabble but my brain just doesn't work like that.





	Say It Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alisvolatpropiis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alisvolatpropiis/gifts).



The whole situation is fucked, and honestly, the only thing that's surprising to him is that he's surprised.

He swore, he _swore_ , he would never come back here. Not for anything, because this place wasn't good and _he_ wasn't good so the two of them together…. 

Derek had assumed that the radio silence was because of the conversation. The one that had ended in tears and awkward silence. He'd figured he just had to wait for Stiles to get over it. Even after a month he still thought that it was only a matter of time before his phone would ring again. After two months, he was trying to convince himself that it might actually be for the best.

Halfway through the third month Lydia was the one that called. 

Lydia Martin - who doesn't cry - called him three weeks ago and he was barely able to understand what she was saying through the tears. He got the gist though. Stiles was gone. 

Gone. 

_Taken_. 

They knew the who was a strange group of hunters that had rolled into town a couple of months before. But they didn't know the where. Where they had taken him from or where they were keeping him. They needed help, _please Derek I am not above begging you not anymore please._

He was halfway down the coast before he even gave it a second thought. For one brief, crazed moment at the California border he almost turned around - panicked to his core at the thought of seeing Stiles again. Then, of course, he realized that seeing Stiles again was only one possible outcome to this scenario and he pressed on the gas even harder. 

Now, running through this godforsaken preserve trying desperately to find the man he had pushed away, he wishes he could go back in time and kick himself in the face. They'd come close to losing Stiles before but, even with the Nogitsune, Derek had always had this bone deep certainty that everything would be okay. This time though... 

This time Stiles has been gone for five months and Derek's fighting a new deep, sickening certainty that he's too late. He's too late to find him, to save him, to stop taking what he has - what he had - for granted. Again. 

If they do find him - and that's a big if - he's going to fix it. Fix all of it.

The plan is shit. The pack have gathered in a clearing a the center of the preserve, offering themselves up and hoping that the hunters and their witches will answer en force. They'll fight for as long as they can, while Derek and Lydia - the best tracker and the… well… basically the closest they have to a clairvoyant - scour the preserve for any sign of Stiles. That's it. That's all they've got. They were working on something better but then, in the middle of an argument about whether they should search the preserve again, Lydia had screamed. Screamed for Stiles. And just like that they were out of time. 

Behind him, Lydia's calling Stiles' name over and over. The desperation in her voice cuts like a knife because she sounds just like he feels. Hopeless and aching for someone they just can't seem to find. 

He just barely dodges a low hanging branch and skids to a stop. He's distracted and now is absolutely not the time for that. He takes a deep breath, trying to refocus his senses, while Lydia stumbles to a stop behind him. 

"Do you smell something?" her voice is thin and shaky with tears, still scraped raw from earlier.

He takes a deep breath, shaking his head and whispering "Not yet," before he takes off. 

It only takes a moment for Lydia to start running too, calling out for Stiles again. It's when she stops to take a breath that he hears it. Somewhere off to the left, a little too distant to discern completely but he _heard_ it. He stops dead in his tracks and Lydia nearly passes him but he grabs her arm, pulls her close and covers her mouth. She struggles for a moment before he leans down to whisper, "Wait."

She looks up at him with wide teary eyes filled with something that might be trust - and doesn't that taste like dust in his mouth - and nods. He closes his eyes and listens. He hears it again. A little closer this time. A racing heart that he swears on his life he would know absolutely anywhere, even at a distance. 

He spins Lydia around, pointing her in the right direction, "Call him."

Then he steps back and covers his ears while she screams. 

The aftermath echos in complete stillness and for a moment he doubts. But then he hears it - they both hear it.

"Lydia? LYDIA?!" 

"STILES!"

It's not his name Stiles is calling but that's okay. Dear God, it's so okay because that's his voice. It's Stiles voice ringing out through the fog and he was so sure that he would never ever hear it again. 

They both take off but Derek is faster. He's racing, racing time and his own doubting mind, to get to him. 

He knows he's close but he's still caught off guard when Stiles actually breaks through the trees and barrels into him - a fury of flailing limbs and rabbit heart and the smell of sick and sweat and Stiles. 

Stiles immediately pushes back, fighting viscously and Derek is proud to say he actually has to dodge a few well aimed blows - marveling all the while at how much bigger, how much stronger he seems to be now - before he manages to grab ahold of his wrists and hold him steady.

"Stiles, STILES" he raises his voice only to get his attention, "Stiles it's okay. It's okay. It's me."

Stiles eyes light up with sudden recognition and he stares for a moment before a bloody hand comes up to cup Derek's cheek. "Derek?"

"Yeah, yeah it's me," he laughs and it startles him almost as much as the wetness on his cheeks. This sudden, unadulterated happiness is so much more than he's felt in such a long time. The elation passes though, when he looks - really looks - at Stiles. 

His hair is long which is a bit of a shock but then again, five months is a long time. Things like that are bound to change. What's not normal is the cut at his hairline that's still oozing blood or the bruise that Derek know's means a broken cheekbone, at the very least.

"Shit," he brings his own hand up before stopping short. "You're hurt, where are you… what hurts?" He pulls Stiles hand away from his face and holds his arms out so he can check for any other damage. Other than a few months worth of dirt and grime and blood on his clothes, he seems okay. He's about to spin him around so he can check his back when Stiles' voice stops him.

"You're here." His voice is dripping in disbelief and yeah, Derek deserves that.

He looks back up and catches Stiles eye, "Stiles, of course I'm here."

"You came back." He says and he looks confused. 

Derek lets his arms drop, grabbing onto Stiles shoulders instead and pulling him close. "You were gone Stiles, of course I came back. I…" And he realizes this is it. He can't deny it anymore and he honestly can't remember why he ever wanted to. He takes a deep breath. He can do this. "Stiles, I lo…"  
He stops short because just like that Stiles face falls and his eyes go wide with fear. 

"No." It comes out on a breath, so quiet that even he can barely hear it. "No, no, no" he mutters as he wrenches himself away and Derek throws his hands up, taking a step back to give him space.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"NO!" Stiles screams and he starts backing away, eyes darting around the dark forest as if he's searching for a way out

"Stiles. It's okay," he tries again, keeping his voice soft.

"NO! I got out.. I got OUT" and to Derek's horror he starts crying as he stumbles back faster and faster before he turns and starts to run - and WOW. Derek thought he knew what pain felt like, but watching Stiles run from him, leaving the smell of fresh fear in his wake, this might just be what ends him. Though he guesses it shouldn't be surprising. He knows what he is. It was only a matter of time 

Stiles doesn't make it far before he runs straight into Lydia. 

"Oh that god!" she cries and throws her arms around him.

He stops, startled, arms splayed out in surprise as Lydia pulls him close, like she's trying to crawl inside where she can keep him safe and Derek understands the sentiment all too well. 

"Lydia?" he asks in a strangled voice that has no right coming from Stiles, of all people.

She laughs and tries to burrow into him even further, "Yeah Stiles, it's me."

"No. No, Lydia, you can't be here, I thought I got out but…" 

She looks at him and rubs his back, "Shhh… no it's okay, Stiles, it's okay you're out. You're here with me." Her eyes search his for a minute before she backs away and grabs his hands. "Count with me." They count to ten and then back down twice before he lets out a shaky breath and looks back at her - he looks so small - and whispers "But Derek, I saw Derek."

Lydia gives him a small pained smile, "So did I Stiles," she points, "he's right over there."

Slowly Stiles turns back to look at him, and he looks like he's actually seeing him for the first time. Derek does his best not to squirm under the scrutiny. Lydia seems to lose her brief and hard fought composure then and pulls him into her arms again.

This time, ever so slowly, his arms close around her. He relaxes the moment he touches her. Just closes his eyes and collapses into her hold. She doesn't even stumble under the weight. And oh, he had wanted Stiles to move on but he didn't think he'd ever have to see it like this.

The sight of them, clinging so tightly together brings an old bitterness back even though he knows he doesn't have a right. So that's that then. Stiles is safe which is what he wanted when he came back in the first place. Now he can go home, back to the small little life he's carved out and everything will be back to normal. He does his best to ignore whatever it is he's feeling, clears his throat. "We need to head back" he says and he's proud that it comes out clear and strong and not at all strangled. 

He hears Lydia pull away from Stiles, sniffling a little, before she clears her throat as well "Yeah, yeah we should. Come on Stiles, lets go home." 

Derek waits and watches them go for a moment, putting a little distance between them, before he follows. 

__

 

The scene back in the clearing is nothing but carnage. 

All the hunters are dead and there's no sign of their witches. He's not sure how they managed it but he's also is very much not going to question it. 

No one on their side is dead but there's enough blood covering them all that some - if not most of it - has to be their own. Scott looks like he's missing a good chunk out of his side - most likely a shot gun blast at close range. Derek winces because those hurt like a bitch. Melissa is limping around as fast as she can, lighting wolfsbane and applying it to wounds while all the wolves try desperately not to howl out their pain. That new kid, Liam whatever, is crying quietly. But he's being brave, and he must have fought well to have even made it to this point. Derek wishes the kid didn't have to learn that this is the way life is now but… for him, for monsters like them, it just is. 

As soon as they break the tree line the Sheriff is running - limping fast more like - and so is Stiles. 

"Stiles, oh thank God!" he says as he drags him into a crushing hug.

Scott looks on with those puppy dog eyes but stays where is is, with a look on his face that's almost like regret but mostly resignation. Derek wishes he knew what happened there, but he figures it's not his right anymore. A lot of things aren't it seems but - that's fine. 

Stiles and his father seem loath to part and Derek can smell their tears, hear the Sheriff whispering _"I've got you, it's okay, it's okay. I've got you"_ over and over. He reaches out and pulls Lydia into the hug as well, uttering a quick _Thank You_ and planting a kiss in her hair before he turns to look at Derek. 

He feels a bit embarrassed being caught watching. More than that he's worried about what his face must look like now that he's been confronted with the evidence of what's happened while he was gone. He knows that he doesn't belong here, he knows what he did, but seeing what is clearly some sort of burgeoning family between the three of them still stings. 

But the Sheriff doesn't do anything except send him a firm nod, another whispered _Thank You_ across the clearing before he turns to hide his face in his sons hair. 

And Derek, well, he takes that as his cue to leave. 

__

 

He's not entirely sure why he doesn't go home after that. 

To be fair, immediately after he's so tired that not even the ache in his chest or the musty smell of his motel room can keep him from sleeping 15 hours straight. After that though... 

Stiles is safe. The hunters are dead. There's a tiny cabin the woods of Washington state waiting for him.

But still he stays. 

He's just getting back from picking up some groceries one town over, and he's so focused on not thinking about the reasons he went one town over - like he's _hiding_ \- that he doesn't notice until it's too late. He tends to screw himself over like that. 

When he finally looks up, Stiles is there, leaning on the wall next to his motel room door. Smoking what smells like a joint. They stare at each other for a moment before Derek tears his gaze away and clears his throat, "Should the Sheriff's son really be smoking in public?"

Stiles scoffs, "Like that's ever stopped me." He takes a long drag before speaking again through the smoke, "Plus, it's medical," he pauses, "Bitch."

Derek hates that he can't help but laugh at that. He has to move sometime so he makes his way to the door and pulls out his key, trying very hard to ignore how close it brings him to Stiles. He can't help taking a quick glance at him though. The bruises are still there but a little more faint then they were a few days ago. "You okay?"

Stiles looks a little startled at the question. "I'm fine. Totally fine. Super fine, even."

Derek can't help but side eye him, "Alright. You're fine."

Stiles nods and then bites him lip in that infuriating way he has before saying, "So, you're back, huh?"

Derek huffs and finally opens the door, "Not really," he says even though he's honestly not sure. Stiles can't hear his heart anyway so it doesn't matter.

"Oh." Stiles says. They stand awkwardly at the open door before Stiles takes another long drag and stubs out the joint on the wall. He slips what's left into his hoodie and fixes Derek with an expectant look. "So, are you gonna invite me in or…" he asks gesturing vaguely towards the room.

"Why?" Derek can't help but ask. He doesn't really mean it the way it sounds - except he sort of does - but Stiles just rolls his eyes and then stares him down. Derek sighs and steps aside to let him in. The smirk Stiles gives him as he slides past categorically should not send a thrill through him but it does anyway. 

"Nice digs," Stiles says after Derek closes the door. He's twitchy, looking like he wants to search the room or something before he rolls his shoulders and sticks his hands firmly in his pockets. 

Derek bites back another sigh and gets to the point, "Why are you here?"

"Can't a guy just visit his buddy to catch up?" Stiles says with a forced laugh. His face is tight though and Derek just levels him with a look.

Stiles sucks on his bottom lip for a moment before he nods to himself and says, "I just wanted to clear something up… about the other night."

Because of course he does. 

"Look," Stiles sighs and scratches at the back of his neck, "I just want you to know that I wasn't afraid of you."

He winces. That's not at all what he expected Stiles to say. But then, he can't really deny that it's been bothering him. He also can't deny that it doesn't really matter at this point.

"It's okay Stiles. I get it." he says before he turns to put his shopping bags down on the old desk by the window. He starts unpacking the bags just to have something to do but he's very aware of Stiles making his way over and stopping just behind him. 

"No really. I don't want you to think that I'm actually afraid of you Sourwolf. I know it's a thing with you okay. It's just. When they.. had. Me. When they had me sometimes, " he stutters and stops before taking a deep breath, "AfteraboutamonthIstartedhallucinatingandIneverthoughtI'dseeyouagaininreallifesoIdidn'ttthinkyouwerereal."

It takes his brain a moment to parse out exactly what Stiles just said but when he does his stomach just sinks. 

"Stiles I… " but Stiles cuts him off. 

"I just wanted you to know. It wasn't what it seemed like, okay. I'm sorry." 

And isn't that just like him? Knowing Derek well enough to know that that would upset him. And to care enough to want to make it right even when it was such a little thing. When he didn't owe Derek anything. Hell, he had basically apologized for being kidnapped and maybe drugged and definitely afraid. Derek thinks he hates him just a little bit more for that - or maybe he just hates himself. 

"Well, that's… good," good? He nods. "Thanks for letting me know." He hopes it sounds sincere but like a dismissal. Apparently he doesn't really manage it. 

Stiles stays where he is for a moment before he walks away. Derek hears him flop on one of the beds and has to take a deep breath to keep from popping the can of soup he has in his hand. Eventually he runs out of things to unpack and organize into piles and he's forced to turn around. Stiles is, of course, sitting there watching him. 

"Soooooo," he starts, eyes going squinty like they do whenever he's thinking too hard, "you came back."

"Obviously."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Why did you come back doofus. You said, uh, you said that there wouldn't ever be a reason to." That last bit he says haltingly. Which… is true. Derek did, in fact, lie through his teeth and say that.

"I missed your sparkling wit," he deadpans even though that dangerously close to the real reason he came back.

Stiles bites out a laugh. "No. Really, big guy. What's the deal here?" 

The look he gives Derek then is too much and he really doesn't want to think about what it means. So he leans back against the desk and rubs his hands over his face, buying time and searching for an answer that won't give him away. 

He finally settles on, "Look, Lydia asked me too, okay?"

When he looks back up Stiles face has completely closed off. Blank. And Derek realizes that must have been the wrong answer even if he didn't know there was a right one in the first place.

"Oh. Right, Lydia asked you. Well, great!" he says slapping his knees as he stands up, "That's really great Der. Er, Derek. Real stand up of you and all to, you know, come help Lydia or whatever." He fidgets there for a moment makes his way for the door, "Thanks Derek. I'll see you around. Or not"

Derek really should let him leave at that. He wants him to go. But watching Stiles get closer to the door also makes him panic.

"She said you were missing," he says and it makes Stiles pause which is a relief. "She called and said you were missing. That you'd been taken. Of course I came back."

"Careful Sourwolf," he says oddly calm, "That almost makes it sound like you care."

And that - that's just baffling because yeah, he's been shit at a lot of things and he knows what he did all those months ago, but he _does_ care. Stiles _hase_ to know that after all they've been through together. 

"Wait, what," he says pushing up and walking towards Stiles, "I care. Of course I care."

"Yeah," Stiles says nodding, muttering almost like he's talking to himself "You keep saying that. Of course. Sure. Good luck, Derek. In, you know… whatever." 

He walks towards the door again and he has his hand on the knob and Derek has to say something _still_ because that sounds so… so _final_ and he thought that was what he wanted but it's not. He just can't that he can't leave it like this either. Not again.

"Stiles, wait," he says reaching out to him and for some reason that's enough to make Stiles really angry. 

"Fuck off Derek," he says yanking the door open and storming out into the parking lot. Derek honestly doesn't know why he runs after him, but run after him he does. 

"Stiles, _wait_!"

"I'm serious, fuck off Derek."

"What the hell is your problem? You came to me!"

"Yeah, yeah. My mistake. "

"Mistake? Why was it a mistake? You came here to talk, we talked. I don't get what your fucking problem is."

"My problem? MY problem?!" he laughs then, a little cruelly, and for a second it sounds terrifyingly like the Nogitsune, "Like you care."

"You keep saying that! How? HOW?! After everything. Can you actually ask me that."

He gets a flat look back, "Really, you can't think of anything that might make me wonder?"

And wow, if Derek didn't want to talk about what happened in the preserve he very much doesn't want to talk about this. Now, he feels just as belligerent as Stiles looks. "That doesn't…that's over. It doesn't matter." 

"Fucking - are you kidding me?"

"What."

"Really? You don't see why it would matter? Why it matters that I told you I loved you and you said NOTHING?! You just left me hanging like the biggest loser EVER. You didn't... God you didn't have to say it BACK but you could have at least said something! But no, you HUNG UP ON ME! And now APPARENTLY THAT DOESN'T MATTER?!"

"Because it DOESN'T. You have Lydia now don't you? Isn't that what you always wanted anyway?" and he doesn't mean it to sound bitter but it does. And doesn't that just light Stiles up with some sort of righteous looking fury.

"What. The. Fuck. What the fuck does that even... Oh my God. Oh my GOD ARE YOU JEALOUS? Is that what that just was?? You're jealous?! Oh my god, that's fucking rich Derek. Really you have the nerve to be mad at me - you're so fucking self-centered you… you… you ASSHOLE! I didn't have to wait for you, especially after what you did."

Derek knows that and doesn't actually have a response so he just huffs and looks away. 

"And there you go with the no talking again." 

"What do you want from me? Huh? You seem to have everything all figured out over there so what could I possibly add?"

"I don't know. An emotion of some sort? Not anger, we already know you can feel that but it would be neat to see if you could feel something else for a change." 

The hurt that causes just serves to actually make him angry.

" _Fuck_ you."

Derek turns to go back to into motel room. Maybe he'll punch something. A hole in the wall will probably make the place look nicer and it's not like he doesn't have the money to pay for a repair or two. Or five.

Stiles car door slams but instead of hearing the Jeeps engine sputter to life he hears the pounding of Stiles feet fast approaching before he catches Derek's arm and spins him back around. 

"I was leaving, you're the one who followed me, for this absolutely pointless…"

"You're right, it is pointless. So why don't you just get in your little car and go home. I'm sure Lydia must be missing you by now." 

"You are such a fucking prick," he grabs grabs Derek's collar and gets right in his face. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to decide this is over. I do. I actually had the last word on purpose this time Derek, you can at least let me have that right?"

"Are you done?" he asks because he's feeling that petty. 

"God I hate you."

"Glad we cleared that up," he tries to walk away again but Stiles hold stays true.

"I said no. You don't get to go until you tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Why you care."

"We already covered this…"

"Why did you stop me leaving? Why does me and Lydia piss you off so bad?"

"I don't have to answer that."

"Yes, you do Derek WHY DO YOU CARE?!"

"Because I LOVE YOU TOO!" and that draws them both up short. Suddenly the parking lot is dead silent. 

Then Stiles blinks, "See was that so hard?" he asks and launches himself into Derek's arms.

The kiss is exactly how he imagined it would be. Stiles is entirely too enthusiastic for it to be anything but just this side of too rough and it's not _good_ but Derek would take this over anything else in the world any day. He gets lost in the rough feel of Stiles lips, the stale taste of weed leftover in his mouth, before a rational thought breaks through at the back of his mind and he has to pull away.

"What about Lydia?"

Stiles huffs and Derek gets a little dizzy at the feel of his breath, "Dude, she's not my girlfriend. She like my sister man, that's gross."

"Oh," his whispers against Stiles lips, "Don't call me dude."

Stiles laughs for real this time but it's short lived because Derek needs to get his mouth on him again. 

They stagger back into the room, and Derek closes the door by shoving Stiles up against it. The way Stiles moans into their kiss goes straight to his dick. Part of him thinks they should stop, should do this right. But Stiles seems to be game and fuck it, he's wanted this for years. 

Eventually, though, even he has to pull away for breath. He starts kissing down Stiles neck, reaching down and grabbing Stiles legs so he can wrap them around his waist. He ruts up against him which brings things to a whole new level and God, why did he think he could ever live without this?

"Oh fuck," Stiles says on a sigh, "Oh fuck, Der. Der," he gasps, "Say it again."

Derek barely registers the question. He's a bit too focused on the mole that sits right in the crook of Stiles neck. 

"Der," Stiles whispers and pulls Derek's face into his hands, "Say it again?" 

He looks so hopeful, and Derek honestly doesn't know how he ever kept this to himself, or why, if it makes Stiles look at him that way. 

"I love you," he says before kissing Stiles forehead, "I love you, I love you, I love you…" he keeps going, kissing all over Stiles face, whispering the words like a benediction, until he's really only babbling and Stiles catches his lips with his own and then there's no room for talking. Not anymore. 

___

 

After, Stiles fishes the joint out of his hoodie, lights it and takes a hit before offering it to Derek. It's not going to do anything for him without wolfsbane but it seems like the thing to do in the moment. He never knew that Stiles could be so quiet and - as much as he loves hearing Stiles talk - he's nearly giddy with the knowledge the Stiles is comfortable enough here, with him, that he can stop and just be. 

He takes the hit and then, smiling, blows the smoke back in Stiles face. It makes him crack up just like Derek hoped. Still laughing, Stiles places the joint on an ashtray he dug out of one of the drawers before rolling back over on top of Derek. 

Stiles lays there for a minute before tilting his head up and devastating him with big golden eyes. He looks so happy. 

"Hey Der?"

"Yeah?"

"Say it again?"


End file.
